Foolish Games
by NSN
Summary: Justin finally takes Brian's rejection seriously. Justin is ready to let Brian go and live a life away from PittsBurg. But will Brian let him cut all ties?


Foolish Games  
  
Chapter 1: Always Felt I was Outside Looking In  
  
Justin P.O.V.  
  
I saw him again. Fucking every available piece of ass that he can. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter, that it's just fucking. But I can't help feeling like a knife is being stabbed in my heart every time I see his lips touch another pair of lips that are not my own. Every time his hands caress and stroke someone else's skin I feel as if another piece of my heart, my soul is being taken away until there is nothing left but emptiness and bitterness...an acute bitterness in my mouth that won't go away.   
  
As I make my way out of the loft, I grab my jacket and tell myself over and over again,   
  
"It's just a fuck . . .they don't matter . . .just fucking".   
  
I repeat this mantra in my head over and over again until I almost hear Brian's voice saying,  
  
"I don't believe in love, just fucking"  
  
I find myself across the block from the loft, sitting at the bus stop. It occurs to me that only a year ago, I was once sitting here, after recieving another rejection from Brian. It's amazing how much time changes your life and amazing how much change doesn't really occur. I laugh a little to myself, realizing that i'm having an epiphany at a bus stop, pondering about the utterly pathetic life I've been living lately.  
  
I get up and start walking back to the loft, telling myself,  
  
"This is it, this is the time to let go"  
  
but I know i'm lying to myself. Because once I see his eyes again I know I won't be able to resist his pull.  
  
And soon enough, as I open the metal door guarding Brian's lair, I am once again enchanted by the intense hazel orbs gleaming under a hood of chestnut hair. All the feelings of bitterness are pushed to the wayside.  
  
"So you're back",   
  
Brian stated as if it wasn't a question.  
  
"Yeah, I just needed to get some air."   
  
I sigh and I flick a glance at his trick. The no-name had dark hair, dark eyes, but nothing striking that would make me remember him again once he walked out of the door.  
  
"So are you done with your toy for the evening?"  
  
I ask him, dropping my jacket on the pristine designer sofa. I begin taking my clothe off. I can't hardly wait to erase the last touches of no-name off his skin.   
  
"Looks like someone's a little eager, you been holding off on whacking again at Deb's?"  
  
He says laughingly all the while telling the trick to get lost. He saunters over to me, helping me as I struggle with the stubborn buttons on my jeans.   
  
"I told you, Debbie has caught Michael jerking off dozens of times. She's seen everything . . ."  
  
but before he finishes, I stop him by pressing my eager lips to his own, devouring him, making him my own . . . even for just a moment. I can taste no-name on his tongue. It's not as revolting as I thought it would be. But somehow anything on Brian is impossible to be dained disgusting.  
  
I grab his naked cock and start jerking him off. Rubbing the head with the pads of my thumb. I hear him sigh and grunt, making me smile. I look down and I see my hand coated with his essence. I savor it, I absorb his silk and I whisper desperately into his ear,  
  
"Fuck me." He grunted  
  
"Fuck me, Hard!" I repeated myself.  
  
I need to feel him inside of me. Being connected to him is an out of this world experience. I have never ever felt so close to him, but when he slips his cock inside me I am his. And he is mine. Nothing in this world matters but him and me.   
  
Brian looks me in the eye for a moment and then quickly drags me onto the sofa and covers my lips with kisses, stealing the breath away from my body. He reaches down between my legs and lifts my thighs open. He plunges his dry finger into my pulsing hole. I arch and cry out. I feel the pain but I don't want him to stop, instead I push his fingers further into me.  
  
Brian senses my urgency and he quickly releases me for a moment to grab a condom and to lube himself up. I grab the condom from his hand and I put it on him, while he uses the lube to open me up. He brushes and taps my prostrate. I whimper wanting him even more to come inside me. I pull his hand away and I guide his tumescence into me.   
  
He catches me by surprise when he suddenly plunges inside of me and places my legs onto his shoulders. He reams me hard and I shout his name each times he brushes against my throbbing gland. We both know we won't last any longer, so he pistons himself inside of me and fucks me so hard that I fear that I won't be able to walk tomorrow.   
  
"Justin . . ahh" He shouts, and I know he is close.  
  
I reach behind him and briefly fondle his ass. I reach further between his legs and I tug on his aching balls. And that does it. He screams my name as he throws his head back and shoots.His hands grab onto my steely erection and he flicks my pisshole. In that moment shockwaves shoot through my groin down to my toes making them curl. I shower his chest with my essence, marking him as mine.  
  
He collapses onto me. His body, a welcome weight in my arms. As he pants, he kisses my shoulder and burries his head there. Everything in my world is perfect when I feel him in my arms. I wish to myself for this moment to never end. Because with him in my arms the world is right. I don't feel insecure or unwanted. I feel as if I belong. But I know that this is all ephemeral. That Brian is not mine to keep. And as soon as the thought enters my mind, Brian breaks the illusion and speaks.  
  
"So are you ready to go to the baths?"  
  
Yep, all is right with the world again. I sigh and I resign myself to a night of watching Brian Kinney fuck countless bodies that are not my own. 


End file.
